Icy Dead People

Starring

Haley Joel Osment

Idea

Child star turned normal person Osment travels the globe speaking to scientists, religious leaders and mourners about the merits of cryogenic freezing.

If he concludes that it’s a good idea, we’ll get him to pick five people he’d like to see receive the treatment.

There’s probably a Bruce Willis joke to be made here but I can’t think of one.

Feel free to try in the comments section.

Problems

All the smart people I knew have outgrown me and are thus unlikely to respond to my requests to take part.

Solutions

Become great friends with Osment, take my own life and hope that he gives me a second chance to live up to my potential.