Slider Man

Starring

Tom Holland. Or any of the other spider-people.

Idea

A promising chemistry student falls ill on a school trip to Chernobyl.

Forced to spend a lonely week in quarantine with nothing save his smartphone for company, he plummets into a turbulent YouTube cycle that turns his brain to mush.

He never recovers but he does chill right out and spends the rest of his days in a T-shirt, tracksuit bottoms and pool sliders.

I reckon that’s a happy ending.

Problems

None of the Spider-Man actors seem capable of reaching such a high level of Zen.

Idea

Toss them off a roof and see if any of them can shoot webs instead.