Stem Cell Washington

Starring

Denzel Washington

Idea

Inspired by the optimism of America’s pre-eminent scientist, Donald J. Trump, Denzel Washington sets out to find an immediate cure for this novel coronavirus by administering regular stem cell injections into his throat.

From a safe distance, we give him a live-streaming GoPro, a big thumbs up and our undivided attention for the duration.

Problems

Probably none. If he succeeds, we all win. If he fails, I’ll undoubtedly get enough views to supplement my current £94.25 weekly income.

Kidding. I haven’t applied for that yet.

Solutions

Saline, I expect, and delivered through a drip that is needed by about 6,000 other patients.