Peter Entrée

Peter Andre

Jordan (hopefully)

We follow Peter Andre as he dines in a selection of the nation's finest restaurants.

The catch (or hook) is that he is only allowed to eat one entrée per sitting.

These restrictions have been imposed to promote the idea that young people can afford to eat out all the time and still stay in shape.

This is, in essence, why I am hopeful that I will get some backing from the British Hospitality Association.

The series will culminate in a dinner date with ex-wife and erstwhile glamour model Jordan.

The hope here is that she will be so impressed with the man he has become that she welcomes him back into her life.

I say erstwhile, I have no idea what she does these days. If this show is a success, there is every chance she'll revert to type.

Nobody wants to see Jordan naked anymore.

Pull out my eyes and sell them on eBay.