Tanning Chatham

Starring

Channing Tatum

Idea

Hollywood superstar Channing Tatum embarks on a quest to find the number one tanning salon in Chatham, UK.

I suppose we could make this a commentary about the risks of skin cancer or about the depths of vanity in the Home Counties but that sort of depends on how much is going on between the actor’s ears because I’m not about to start doing the research for him.

Problems

I have no idea how many tanning salons there are in Chatham.

Solutions

Take out a massive loan, invest heavily in a string of tanning salons in Chatham and keep my fingers crossed that Tatum can make television gold.